Does the Concept of Self-Care Trigger You?
I came across a comment section filled with some frustrated mamas…
“Can we stop with the ‘put yourself first’ bullshit? I’m not going to get my nails done when my house needs cleaning and my kids need help with homework,” one woman wrote.
Another added, “Right?! Who has time for that between work, kid’s activities, and taking care of the house? The self-care movement is for childless people.”
At the time, I was a childless person who preached about self-care. It made me think: was I being delusional?
But then I snapped out of it and remembered: the self-care I talk about isn’t manicures and spa days. And it’s not about choosing yourself over your family, either. Real self-care is much simpler—and much deeper. Let me dive in.
The Simple Stuff
Drink your damn water. Grab that 32oz Stanley you spent too much on and make sure you fill it—twice a day.
Stretch your body. I get it, after a day of being stretched too thin, the last thing you want to think about is stretching. You just want a few moments of mindless scrolling or watching your latest Netflix obsession. But I promise: replace just 5–10 minutes of that with a few stretches before bed and your mind and your body will thank you.
The Medium Stuff
Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Are your thoughts about yourself kind or hurtful? Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself? If not, it’s time to flip the script. Check out my blog for a deeper dive into the power of positive self-talk.
Pay attention to what you consume mentally—and make some changes. Is the news always on in the background? What about your inner circle—are they Negative Nancies, or do they bring positivity and joy into your life? How does your social media feed make you feel? Empowered—or jealous, angry, or triggered? What you put in your mind, you become, so choose wisely and curate what you allow in.
The Deep Stuff
Have boundaries. You knew I was going to say it. Self-care isn’t about adding a spa day—it’s about removing what drains you. You don’t have to say yes to every invite or school volunteer activity. If it’s too much, say no—guilt free. And don’t get me started on spending your precious time with people that drain you…
Calm your nervous system. Being “on” all the time is exhausting. You don’t need a full yoga retreat to reset—just a few minutes a day of small, intentional practices can make a big difference. Think mindful breathing, a quiet walk, or simple stretches before bed. And for the mamas—get your kiddos involved! Teaching them to self-regulate now can take a lot of the stress off your plate before it even starts. Bonus points if you can find some laughter in the process!
Remember who you are. You’re more than the roles you play—mom, partner, employee. When was the last time you did something that was just for you? Not because someone needed it, not because it checked a box, but because it lit you up. Read that book, revisit that old hobby, or put on the music you loved in high school and dance around the kitchen. Deep self-care is reconnecting with yourself—because when you remember who you are, you show up more fully for everyone else, too.
Manicures and spa days are wonderful ways to pamper yourself, but they don’t shift your mental health—and for me, that was never what self-care was about. The kind of self-care I believe in, and what I preach to put first, is transformational—even down to the simplest habits. That’s why I created the Elevate Your Life Journal—with prompts that guide you to see self-care differently, so you can start building a foundation that helps you show up as the best version of yourself for everyone in your life.
So yes, especially you mamas, self-care is for you 💜
With love,
Sara
